A Sigh of Relief, kind of

So I’m done. With work. For the summer. And I feel like it went by far too quickly, and that it’s still the middle of the summer. But it isn’t. There are only three short weeks left until I pack up my car and go back to school! I definitely need these three weeks to chill out after working so intensely for 6 weeks. Working all day with children is both exhilarating and exhausting, but always rewarding. I love this job, I love everything about it. I love the kids, I love the staff, I love the program, I love the lessons we teach and the fact that every Friday we have themed dress-up days, and after two years, when I walk into Dunkin’ Donuts in the morning they are no longer phased by whatever ridiculousness I might be sporting that day. (Be it a full body spandex super hero costume, a mustache and mens clothes, full out goth attire, pajamas, or a tiara).

But for a lot of the summer there’s been a slight dark cloud hanging over my mind. It’s the real world. I can’t escape it. It’s the fact that I know this should be my last summer, that next summer I really should get a resume relevant internship. And it isn’t as though I don’t want to try the office game. Rather, I think it would be pretty fun, you know, dressing up all business casual, commuting, being a serious adult…

On the last day of camp yesterday, it was so incredibly painful to stand and pretty much lie to 9 year olds, some who I’ve come to know and care for deeply. “You’re coming back next summer, right Nora? I want to be in your group forever!” There is no way to answer a crying 9 year old truthfully without breaking all hearts involved. Even the “we’ll see”s and the “I hope so!”s weren’t cutting it. And even though I began the summer with a firm plan in my mind that this would be my last summer where  I ran around all day playing with nerf guns and kickballs and making projects with construction paper, the last day of camp made me feel a slight urge to reconsider.

For many people, being a camp counselor was something to do in high school. But my camp only hired college students, and I spent my high school summers doing various enrichment programs. So for me, while definitely understanding and being behind the reasoning for not allowing high school counselors, I feel kind of ripped off. Here I am, still wishing to have more time to go to camp, and I’m so close to entering the real world that I can’t really afford it. Maybe this is me holding myself to high standards; I’m the second youngest staff member out of 35 or so, with many people returning year after year, including after graduation. But for me, it’s not relevant. I love LOVE kids, and I enjoy theater, but I just don’t see myself pursuing it in the future. So I have to move on, and it’s okay. At least now I can face my attentions towards my exciting trip to New Orleans and then SCHOOL!!!

About nbrouder
I'm a senior at Bates College getting ready for thesis and the real world!

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